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now i promise you that i never told nobody i wuz gon babysit nobodys damn kids! i mean da lil gurl cute and everything but i dnt like loud ass kids! i understand she a baby and thats exactly the reason i nver said i wuz gon watch da lil gurl! now its 1:07am n her dad done went to his room wit some ugly bitch n left me n here wit his baby! i dnt think so! i dnt care wut him and da bald headed heafah doin he gon come get dis baby if she start dat screamin shit! every morning this lil gurl iz waking me up before 7�in the am n its getin on my last nerve! dn get me wrong i like her wen its daytime n she aint sreamin n shit! but she iz an example of y im not gon have no damn kids! i aint sayin she da reason cuz i aint neva been the one to want no damn kids but she represents my reason...if u can understand wut im sayin...buts is aiigh cuz dis lil vacation iz almost over! i had fun heat my auntii house but its time to go lol

now yall can comment n wutever,,,saywut ya want!! lol especially if u disagree...tell me y i should feel differently but DONT�come up here trynna tell me about me! 4real tho cuz u can step wit that!

Some say they only come out at night,

Staying out out of your line of sight...

Because you have something that they desperately want,

And they'll wait until you give into their taunt...

Once upon a time,

There was a little girl who committed a crime.

They told her he was wrong,

But she was to far gone...

So they took away her crown,

And banised her from the town...

He tricked her into giving up her life

And did away with her, with a sharp bladed knife...

And a�hundred years later, the chaos started again,

As he waited for a new story to begin...

i did write the first half of this journal a few days ago but my stupid laptop decided that the second i tried to save it was the moment that it would lose connection with the internet.

so i saw basically saying that it was one of my best friends, nancy's party, and it was as fabulous as ever. it was in the evening at her house and the booze flowed non stop, the chocolate fondue lifted everyone spirits even higher and that night was a complete success. nancy, i cant wait for your next birthday, they so RULE!!!!!

but i also had another party this weekend, which was the usual celebration of a batmitzvah of one of my mums friends daughter, and it was the usual grand event. before we went i was complete dreading it as the girl who i normally sit next to and chat to was up in manchester for the weekend and may only be making it for the last half and hour, and there was no way that i want to be stuck with the batmitzvah girls brother and all his croonies. but for once i was in luck and spend the eventing sitting between 2 rather nice guys :) - oh yeh! one of them is the son of another of my mums friends, and i used to kinda have a crush on him, and the other guy was someone from the shul who i had never met but he was so cute. why the hell had none of my family ever mentioned him before???? i talked non stop, which may have been partly due to the bottle of wine that i downed, but i was so happy. my mum keeps going on about the guy that i met, i'll call him 's' and whether i fancy him, but i dont know. hes really nice and easy to talk to as a friend but i do kind of fancy him a bit... we'll have to wait and see if anything happens. at least i have an excuse to go to shul which i have only been inside a few times before as my brother has some important part in a ceremony in a few weeks. you'll find me in the front row...

well i guess some people dont like how i say tha word 'shit' in my entry's but i really dont care becuase i am not writing these to make people happy..im just tellin how my days go n then when i see my theripist fo my anger problems n shit i can just have her read tha shit i write n wont have ta talk much............

sooo anyways today after work i was jus chillin n shit n my man asked me if i wanted ta go ta his guys house n chill and i was like aight so he was all rushin me n shit n soo i get there and bang on his door and nobody is coming but i can hear them yellin inside sooo i was like aight and i called him n he didn't answer soo i called his sister and im like soooooo u jus finna let me stand in front of ur door fo another 5 mins n she started laughin n she was like gurl i aint heard nobody knock u at tha door n im like do i have ta kick ur ass n she opend tha door n she was like u gotta knock louder and i was like shit u no damn well if i pound on ur door yall finna think its tha police n really not pick up and everyone started laughin so i went up ta my mans room and his ass was still in tha shower n i sat on his bed with his lil cousin "miss thang" and we was talkin shit bout him and i was like he rushed me n he in tha shower im like i knew he was doin that n we watched some tv n shit and then he finally came out like in his boxers so i put my hand ova his lil cousin eyes n im like ugh u dont wanna see that n he looked at me like im dum lol n then sooo me, him and his other cousin "teddy bear" and i drove ta his guy house and on tha way he was talkin his shit soooo i slaped him n tha face and so he grabed tha wheel and made us swerve and i was like bitch dont make me beat ur ass n he like do it and ima crash ur shit, un button ur seat belt and run lmao and im like just wait till we get out this car.....so we get ta his guy house and he live with his women and she is like a animal freak ...we walk in and theres a big ass cage that is basically filling tha wall and theres a big ass lizard n it n then we went in tha living room, where tha pool table is and theres another freakin wall thats a cage for another lizard and then she got a big ass bird cage with a bunch of damn birds and then she has like a million cats..they like everywhere soooo im sittin on tha couch and shit watchin my man and his guy play pool and his guy is drunk n actin dum laughin at everything and his guy friend is ova there drunk off his ass to just talkin all loud and messin wit tha lizard bout ta get eaten n tha cats are like all climbin on me n shit n my baby lost..then mr teddy bear played and he lost and so it was my turn and i aint played in years soo like i hit tha ball 2 times and tha damn black ball went in and i lost soooo then my man and his guys was in tha kitchen talkin stupid shit that i dont wanna know bout and smoking ciggs and shit makin my eyes burn� and sooo me and mr teddy bear played a game of pool cuz we was bored and i won this time and thennn we drove back ta my man crib and kicked it with his family and watched some tv and did dum shit and jus was goofy and then i went home and now im makin some food n ima have ta try ta get some sleep soon cuz i gotta meet wit my student adviser guy bout pickin my classes for collage again sooo yes oooo and for that female that dont like my entrys this is for you.....SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT have a lovely day

Well i was finna go ta sleep at round 12 n i was in bed n everythang n then my man kept wakein me up n shit soooo i said fuck it n went down stairs n shit ta work on my outfit n make something ta eat n we basically didn't talk bout nothin on tha phone ..jus basically talk shit ta each other back n forth cuz i mean thats what we do best n shit ....then he was like ima hit you back n im like yeaaaaaa allllrightyyyy ill hear back from you n like 2 hours n he goes i dunnnnnnoooo n im like ok maybe 3 n he was like shut ur ass up n im like uuuuuuup soooooooo then at 1 something he calls me back n im like hello n he goes GOOOOOOOOOOODNIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT n i started laughin cuz i been bitchin at him fo tha past 3 days he aint been pickin up cuz he normally say goodnight ta me n shit sooo when he said that i just started crackin up n im like DAMNNNNNNN its like that baby n he was laughin n he goes GOOOOOOOD NIGHTTTTT n im like aight babe goodnight n he goes yea yea yea ..he like ill call u in tha morning n im like aight...n now im watchin some movie on bootleg n shit wide awake n cant sleep

I�am nervous. I will be meeting my boyfriends mom and sister tuesday. Well I guess it was bound to happen sometime. I�just didn't think it would happen so soon.� I�am sure I�will be alright though. Hopefully she will be nice I�hope they like me.